I feel pretty good about my first semester as a graduate student so far, but I’m trying not to get too comfortable, because comfortability is a recipe for disaster. I need to keep my level of engagement and hard work at least as high as it is now, if not higher. Luckily (unluckily?) there is always something outstanding: some assignment that needs to be done or some exam that needs to be studied for or some concept that I need to get through my thick skull or some teaching prep that needs done. It is impossible to be “caught up” in grad school. So there’s no room for slacking off.

My students were extra annoying today. Several of them left class early. Got up and walked out while I was teaching. Very disrespectful. Some showed up late. Many didn’t show up at all. Of those that showed up, some were sleeping, and others were just not paying attention. And I gave back a quiz today and two students were particularly whiny about partial credit they received. I am very careful to be fair and consistent in my grading and some students just don’t appreciate it. I guess it’s that point in the semester where people who have borderline grades are scrounging up all the points they can get and everyone (teachers and students alike) is just dragging and ready for it to be over. We don’t even get a fall break here and Thanksgiving break is only Thursday and Friday. There are 5 weeks of classes left, plus finals. It’s stressful for all of us, but don’t give up now. C’mon, you’re only undergrads, and it’s only pre-calculus. How do you think I feel?! Oh well. That’s just me venting/complaining about some of the downsides of teaching. Overall, I’m enjoying it. And I only focus my energies on the students who show up and engage in the class anyway. I’m not overextending myself trying to help everyone, but I’m also not rude to those who don’t want help. If you show up to class, I’ll teach you, and I have an open door during my office hours and if you walk in, I’ll teach you. That’s all you can really do.

In other news, I’ve felt a little homesick the past few days. Not actual homesickness, like I wish I were still in PA, but homesickness in the sense that I miss a lot of people that are very far away. I can think of at least 5 close friends that I REALLY need to sit down and have a phone or Skype conversation with that I told myself I HAD to do this week, but I probably won’t have time. I also feel guilty because I haven’t talked to any of my siblings in like a month. And I miss them a lot too. So I’m trying to get in contact with them soon as well. On the other hand, I do feel a bit accomplished, as I did send a few e-mails this week that I had intended to send right after I graduated college (almost 6 months ago now!) to people I haven’t talked to in years. And having those types of e-mails sent means I can look forward to the replies. Getting communication (facebook, e-mail, call, text, blog comment, etc.) from someone I haven’t talked to or seen in a while is always an awesome feeling. I’m terrible at long distance friendships/relationships/etc. And I’m REALLY trying to be better since I’ve moved to Texas, but I also have to balance feeling stressed/bad about not meeting my communication goals and just letting things slide from one week to the next to the point that I’ve gone months without talking to any of my friends. I’m trying to not feel super stressed about less contact, without falling off the face of the earth entirely. It’s a delicate balance, let me tell you.

Not that I regret coming here at all. I LOVE it in Texas. The weather is awesome (this week temps are in the 60s, next week it will be back in the 70s; in my hometown the weather for the next week or two is in the 40s and 50s). The people in the area in general are great, and everyone I know in the math department here is awesome. This place, geographically speaking, is certainly agreeing with me. And as much as I may complain about grad school and/or teaching and/or missing people back home sometimes, this is what I want to be doing with my life. I want to earn my PhD. I want to be a professional mathematician. I want to succeed at grad school. And anyone who knows me knows that I do what I want. 🙂

I am excited for the next two nights, though. I have no social plans, so I will have me-time. I will rock out to music in my apartment and do lots of math (algebra assignment due tomorrow, and, as I said before, analysis exam the day after that). If I have time, I’ll try to make some phone calls to some friends back home, but if not, I’ll just wait until next week to start making the calls. Next week’s not an exam week so I should have enough time. But the next two nights are mine. So before I buckle down and do a lot of work in the next 48 hours, I am taking this time to just breathe and clear my mind by writing this blog entry. As some of you may know, I find writing very therapeutic. I already feel more calm and confident that I can make it through another week!

By the way, the Steelers are kicking ass in the NFL this season, in case you haven’t been paying attention. I smell a playoff run, and quite probably a run for a seventh Lombardi trophy! Right now they’re 5-2. The defense looks great, the offense looks pretty good. The two losses were pretty close and, in my opinion, they outplayed the opponent and should have won both games except for a FEW key mistakes or moments that didn’t go their way. (Although, I guess that’s how their wins are sometimes too – a key thing that just so happened to go their way.) That’s the nature of football. They haven’t been straight-up outplayed by anyone yet, and I don’t see any teams in the NFL that COULD just brute-force outplay the Steelers this season. So it will be fun to see how the next few months play out. I’m excited! I LOVE football season!