If there is a scholar of Grey’s Anatomy, it is me. I’ve watched every episode within days of its original airing.

I watched the pilot live as it aired. Actually, I watched all of the first two seasons live as they aired. I built my work schedule around it back when Grey’s was on Sunday nights. After I moved away to college, I watched episodes live when I could. If I had to work, or write a paper, or something, I taped the episode on VHS to watch the next day. This was before streaming was a thing. That’s how long this show has been on the air.

One summer, I rewatched all the seasons up to that point (I think it was after season 7 or 8 was over) to try to put together a detailed timeline. It really bugged me that (1) one year of Grey’s time was anywhere between a month or three years in real time and (2) Meredith and Lexie’s ages make zero sense, in relation to each other, and in relation to the rest of the characters. So I wanted to map it out and see if I was right or if the writers had actually thought all the details through and I just missed clues the first time through the series. (I was right by the way. There are too many contradictions in time to reconcile the sloppy writing.)

In my most recent rewatching of the series (between the finale of season 12 and the premiere of season 13), I wanted to pay special attention to quality over time. I know why I originally fell in love with the show. I can remember which parts frustrated me the most for various reasons. I can also recognize as I watch new episodes that it feels like a completely different show than it did a decade ago. But there are some seasons that I could not remember a single thing that happens. Where do these middling seasons stack up against the best of the best and the worst of the worst?

Before I get into the details, I will say that I know a lot can change in 13 years, whether we’re talking about the life of a person or the life of a TV show. There are highs and lows and ebbs and flows. Comparing 2016 to 2005, the writing is different, the tone is different, the setting is different, some of the characters seem different. All of that is natural for ANYTHING that lasts 13+ years. In 2005 when the show premiered you didn’t see a single cell phone on screen, the Internet was barely mentioned, the world was completely different. People come and go in real life – moving between jobs and moving in and out of town; of course they do it on TV too. Sometimes people even die in real life (although never as dramatically or as often as in this damn show). People grow and change in real life, so characters can evolve on screen. But some things are too ridiculous or uninteresting or unrealistic to belong on TV, even on a show as fictionalized as Grey’s Anatomy.

So here are all 12 seasons, ranked from best to worst, in my scholarly opinion.

Spoilers ahead, in case that wasn’t obvious.

The #1 Best Season: Season 2

Duh. Of course. That’s obvious. There’s the Addison v Meredith drama, heart in the elevator, the train wreck episodes (literal train wreck, of course; figurative train wreck episodes come later), the great Cristina character development (see, for example, the Christmas episode), the Alex character development (he starts to become less of an exaggerated caricature of a douchebag and more of an actual character over the 2nd half of the season), the Super Bowl episode (ie, bomb in a body cavity!), George and Alex find out sleeping with your crush doesn’t usually turn out the way you wanted, and the whole last 3 episode arc of the season. Plus, in spite of all the over the top drama that happens in this season, there is a light, fun, comedic tone in most of the episodes that I love.

When I was young(er) and (more) inexperienced in the ways of the world, the Alex/Izzy/Denny and Finn/Meredith/Derek/Addison stuff seemed normal, if not desirable. But rewatching it 10 years later is painful. Why was ANYONE okay with ANY of that? You all deserve better.

#2: Season 6

This was the best Cristina/Meredith season, in my opinion. They get such great dialog and Ellen Pompeo and Sandra Oh get to bring back a great dynamic and familiarity that had been missing from the show for a while. There’s a lighthearted, laugh out loud Mer/Cristina exchange in more episodes than not this season and it is greatly appreciated.

We also get the invasion of the Mercy Westers, which allows for both dramatic and comedic opportunities. The addition of Jesse Williams to the cast and promotion of Jessica Capshaw to series regular are two big moves that happen in season 6 that are still paying off.

Honestly, as I watched these episodes again recently, I have to say Avery’s chemistry with Cristina is more potent and captivating than with anyone else they’ve tried to pair him up with since. It’s a shame we couldn’t see more of that after season 6.

Also, I have to give a shout out to what is probably my all-time favorite episode: “I Saw What I Saw.” The color palette and storytelling in that episode are fantastic.

Then there’s the two part finale. At the time, I thought it was far-fetched and absurd. But honestly, with how unfortunately commonplace mass shootings have become since that aired, I have to say it is completely realistic and I’m sorry I doubted you, season 6 writers.

#3: Season 8

Let Season 8 be known as the last season when there was anything to like about April Kepner. She has been just plain awful in seasons 9-12.

Cristina and Owen are fantastic this season. Well, the performances and the writing for them are fantastic, but Owen as a character is my worst nightmare in this season. He is the worst kind of selfish and controlling and blames it all on Cristina. It’s simultaneously captivating and tough to watch, and it’s a slow burn over the course of the whole season from premiere to finale.

Season 8 also has glimpses of the light-heartedness of earlier seasons. Richard as surgery shark/ puppetmaster is light and fun. The “what if?” episode is really well done, entertaining, and has great payoff for long term fans.

The episodes about the boards are A+ work.  As much as I hate everything Jackson/April after season 8, I do like their initial hookup.  Alex’s almost-missing-the-test feels both ridiculous/unrealistic, and completely true to character.  Meredith & Cristina are wonderful, as always.

#4: Season 3

Burke is so great. He is the departed character I miss second-most (behind Cristina). And this was the season of Burke & Cristina. This most recent viewing, I had a much greater appreciation for their tremor storyline and how it progressed. The story with George’s dad is also SO well done. The writing and performances are phenomenal.

The reason this season falls down in the rankings comes down to two simple points. First, the hastily thrown together George/Izzy thing which was NEVER believable. Second, the ridiculous excuse to bring back Jeffrey Dean Morgan. The supernatural bullshit was enough to annoy me, then on top of that, Meredith survives a condition no real human being would survive. And at the time, she was the least likable character, so I would’ve totally been okay with getting rid of her. (Izzy took over as least likable by the time the season was over, though.)

#5: Season 1

The worst thing about this season is that it’s so short.  The second worst thing is that it plays so hard into the “penis problem” storylines.  Like, 4 out of 9 episodes prominently feature broken penis stories.

The series starts off strong, and of course the big reveal in the last few minutes of the finale is amazingly well done.  The Meredith-Derek arc is its best in season one, in my opinion.  Everything that comes after just doesn’t feel as natural.  The chief’s brain tumor is quickly dealt with and swept under the rug, which feels so absurd and unrealistic.  But otherwise an all-around solid season.

#6: Season 11

Obviously the huge takeaway from this season is McDreamy’s departure. In the weeks leading up to the car crash episode, I remember thinking “They are really cutting back on Derek’s screen time. I wonder if they’re demoting him to part time/recurring.”  So it wasn’t a huge shock to me that they wrote him off, but it seemed so silly. (Why would he stop perpendicular to traffic on a twisty back road? He’s not that stupid.)

On this most recent viewing, I had such a HUGE appreciation for this season, way more than the first time through. After the season 10 finale, I was SO excited to see what they did with the Maggie storyline. I am very pleased with how that played out in season 11. I still think the unknown half-sibling out of nowhere is a silly trope, but if you have to do it, execute it well (which they did).

April is so damn annoying. And awful. I can’t even be that sad about her dead baby because of how awful she is. (I know that makes me sound like a terrible monster person, but I stand by it.)

I remember watching season 12 when it originally aired and thinking “When did Callie and Meredith become such good friends?”  Rewatching season 11 I was reminded that it happened when Callie went through her (second) divorce.  So, I’m happy it has some explanation, but I felt silly for not remembering that!

I also loved the Alex-filling-in-for-Cristina bits that were sprinkled throughout the season.  In later seasons they can’t really decide if it’s Alex or Maggie/Amelia who are going to try to fill Sandra Oh’s shoes, but for the better part of this season it was Alex and it was working.  And I thought they did an amazing job of keeping it purely platonic between Meredith and Alex, which is important to me.  The two things they could do that would make me stop watching this show are (1) make Cristina have a baby [this has been a sacred do-not-cross line for me since season 1/2] or (2) make Meredith and Alex end up together [this has become a sacred do-not-cross line since Derek left and it became obvious that the writers were going to hook her up with someone eventually].

#7: Season 10

This season was a lot better in my memory than in reality/retrospect.  Before I rewatched it again this year, I thought season 10 would be fighting for #1 or #2 spot among the seasons.  However, I’d forgotten how blah the first half is.  The second half is much better, but it still has some frustrating stuff.  Most notably, April & Jackson are just awful together.  I can’t stand watching them.

The 80s covers that are used almost exclusively during the last half of the season are *Italian chef kissing his fingers motion*.  Seriously best TV soundtrack ever.  And it’s the most memorable part of the season for me.

I hated the Meredith/Cristina fight this season the first time I saw it, but this time I liked it a lot more.  It was really well done.  The surrounding characters had really great reactions, and the resolution was perfect.  But for the actual fight itself, they both had valid points, and the bitterness rose mostly from poor communication and pride – completely believable in these characters.

#8: Season 7 (except episode 18)

Cristina’s PTSD storyline is excellent (just as it is at the beginning of season 9). Lots of Callie/Mark screen time this season, which is always a treat. I was actually on board with Lexie/Jackson. She’s the only person Jackson actually had any chemistry with besides Cristina.

The Alzheimer trial is a weird story device meant to spin drama between Derek and Meredith. Also, am I the only one bothered by how quickly these doctors come up with groundbreaking research, which is immediately forgotten forever by everyone in the (Grey’s Anatomy) universe?

Eli and Stark ride off into the night as quickly as they arrived. Good riddance. They were not engaging characters. Lucy was fun though. I wish she had stuck around as a series regular.

#9: Season 4

Meredith does her magic therapy that transformed her from the least likable character on the show in seasons 1-3 to the fun complicated character she is today. And, for what it’s worth, after season 4, the writing and arc for Meredith are very consistent and true-to-character. Even when she’s put in absurd situations, her reactions make sense.

Lexie was actually fun to watch develop into a full-fledged character, in spite of how in the real world when the season first aired the fans were very apprehensive about her even existing.  Related side note: Other sister Molly is never to be seen or heard from again, save for ONE mention (where Meredith gets her name wrong).  Even when the show went HARD into the sisterhood vibe in the seasons after Cristina left, this is one half-sister that has never resurfaced after season 2.  And if they never brought her up when Lexie was around, I feel like the writers have straight up forgotten she exists and will never bring her back.

In other season 4 news, Erica Hahn is so boring they have to write her off mid season. There are a lot of fun little moments (not involving Hahn) but barely anything memorable happens this season. It’s enjoyable enough, but if you’re binge-watching, it definitely feels like a drop off in quality from Seasons 1-3.

#10: Season 12

I’ve been so into the Jo+Alex thing since season 9 (see below), that I was willing to overlook a lot.  I didn’t realize that until I was rewatching season 12.  How she reacts to being proposed to is so frustrating.  And then when that gets fleshed out even more at the end of the season (and the beginning of season 13), it reaches absurd levels of “WTF ARE YOU THINKING.”  I want to be on her side so badly, but ugh.  Girl needs to redeem herself badly in season 13 after all the shit she’s pulled in season 12.  I am 900% team Alex and I have been since Season 2, and I really need him to get a happy ending.  So Jo either needs to get her shit together, or GTFO. Fast.

I almost appreciate that they’re playing into the Grey’s Anatomy universe’s caricature of reality at this point by having Meredith get violently attacked for no reason.  The style of the episode was so well done and wouldn’t have been as powerful from any other character’s point of view.  Obviously I respect that.  But I’m so tired of the drama-level getting turned up to 11 twice per year.  That’s just not real life.

I thought the online Grey’s community was pretty harsh on Penny, but in their defense, Penny appearing in any capacity in Season 12 is 7000 different kinds of unnecessary. The custody battle story was very well done and I appreciated the bait-and-switch of Jackson/April to Arizona/Callie. But none of it should’ve happened because Penny shouldn’t exist.

Speaking of Jackson/April, April continues to be The Worst. Only in the last few episodes, after the custody battle episode, does she begin to show anything resembling humanity and other positive human-like qualities. I do appreciate that the writers flip the “my body my choice” mantra on its head to justify pro-life choices, but I do not appreciate how goddamn insufferable April is while whining/screaming about it.

Last season 12 note: Bailey + Ben 4ever

#11: Season 9

There’s some good stuff in here – mostly in the first half of the season. The new interns breathe some new life into the cast. I loved Jo from the beginning, Brooks grew on me over the course of the season, and Stephanie eventually grows into a great character once the field is small enough that she can be developed in later seasons. Mr. Feeney’s guest arc is fun to watch. (He will always be Feeney to me.) Arizona’s struggle after the crash was jarring to watch because it was such a departure for her character. But it felt very realistic to me – of course you’re going to be bitter if you lose a limb after a plane (that you weren’t even supposed to be on!) crashes.

The second half of the season really takes a turn, though. So boring. Lawsuits and hospital-buying. Yawn. Overall blah.

The last two episodes are pretty great, but the electrocution in the finale is silly. Plus, over the course of the last several episodes, Owen and April are both insufferable. Owen has spent years telling Cristina she doesn’t know what she really wants with her life and that he knows her better than she knows herself, then when she points out he still wants kids he’s all like “Don’t tell me what I want with my life it’s not your place.” Barf. And April is the goddamn worst. She has been all season, and she really outdoes herself in the finale.

#12 (The Worst Season): Season 5

The only good thing to come out of this season was the Jennifer Wesfeldt guest arc. She was fabulous, and the aftermath with Derek was great. Everything else in this season was bullshit.

We have another pathetic reason to bring back Jeffrey Dean Morgan. How can we realistically get him back in the story, you guys? Well, what if a TV character starts fucking a ghost? Oh my God that’s so believable, and our audience will love it!

Fuck you, season 5 writers. I resent you.

The tone of the whole season was uneven and blah.

Then, to kill George when they’d already set up a beautiful, poetic, believable write-off for him was insulting and annoying. And totally unnecessary.

#13 (The Absolute Worst of the Worst): Season 7, episode 18.

This was unexplainably bad. It is literally the only episode I’ve seen only 1 time. Every time I rewatch the show, I say to myself “I’m going to try to sit through the musical episode this time.” I get myself psyched up. “I can do this. It’s just 40 minutes.” Then, inevitably, within 15 seconds, I’m fast-forwarding on mute until I get to the end of the episode. I can’t sit through it. It is unbearable. I know they were trying to tickle the nostalgia bone of fans like me who have been around since the beginning, but I couldn’t get on board. It is awful. Possibly the worst episode of television EVER. Definitely the worst episode of television that I’ve seen; maybe there’s something out there that I haven’t seen that is worse.

Conclusion

Well, I don’t want to end on such a downer, so let’s give this thing a conclusion!

Do I love this show? Yes, with reservations. Questionable decisions have been made for the sake of maximum drama over the course of 12+ years. But of course they have. Every single one of us (assuming anyone ever reads this!) have made questionable personal and professional decisions in the last decade, and we don’t have millions of people keeping an eye on every work product we produce. But all of the characters have lovable moments and relatable moments. Some of the stories really resonate. The crew takes risks with tone and composition and cinematography. The acting is almost always A+. There are things to enjoy about this show even if it’s not the most realistic or deep or cutting edge.

In recent seasons I find myself very put-off by the emphasis on “sisterhood.” There’s a huge Cristina-sized hole in this show that they still haven’t fully recovered from. Cristina and Meredith’s relationship rarely felt forced, but it often feels forced between Meredith/Maggie/Amelia. Still… part of me is happy to see strong, fleshed-out, well-written female characters on screen, even if the one that was easiest for me to relate to is gone now. That the idea of adult women getting together and supporting each other is a central theme of a major network drama is a huge step forward since this show started in 2005. I don’t mean to imply that it was entirely absent before this show; there have been plenty of good female friendships on TV and in movies before and during Grey’s Anatomy’s run (Sex and the City immediately comes to mind, but there are lots of good examples). I just mean that this show came around at exactly the right time to catch the attention of audiences born in the mid-to-late 80s. In spite of the occasional fluff and the corny voiceovers , this 80s kid is glad Grey’s Anatomy exists. Here’s to 12 more years! But actually hopefully not because that would be ridiculous – you can’t go much bigger and more dramatic than bomb, cancer, bus crash, mass shooting, plane crash, violent altercation with patient, car crash (x2), left at the altar (x2), Alzheimers (x2), risky pregnancies/miscarriages/abortions/childbirths (too many to count), groundbreaking medical research breakthroughs (x5 or 6) all happening to the same group of friends in the span of a decade.